Throughout my time in Auroville, the same lesson kept creeping into my experiences and my mind. It first came to me within the first couple of yoga lessons with Natasha, she asked us to be more conscious of our bodies and what they’re feeling. I hadn’t realized it, but every time she asked us to “check” our bodies, I had to slow down my breath and actually become aware of my conscious self. I hadn’t realized how my anxious ticks and general anxiety infiltrated my body in the way it did. It was tension that I felt in my shoulders and even in my tongue, as I don’t think any part of myself ever calmed down and completely relaxed unconsciously. 

Later, we attended the awareness through the body workshop, which reinforced this same idea. My anxiety stayed present, even when I wasn’t aware of it; my body was not relaxing, even when I thought it was. How much negativity and stress is my body feeling subconsciously?

Auroville was practically a signal-blocked zone, yet I found myself subconsciously opening my phone even when it wasn’t functional, even opening TikTok, which is inaccessible in India; these movements don’t even feel like my own, manufactured by my own consciousness. Even the burdens of the internet have infiltrated my mind’s connection with my hands and body.

I took this into mind during my time in Auroville, especially when riding around on my bike, I reminded my body to relax and calm down. I promised myself that I would bring these practices back to Paris and into my life in general. After my time in India, I found out that the feeling I was describing, of my body not relaxing, even my breath, is a sign of high-cortisol, which is essentially high-stress, which can take major tolls on the body and its processes, including muscle weakness, high blood pressure, and the disruption of sleep cycles. The body’s processes are deeply connected with each other, and while it seems intuitive, it feels easy to forget, especially in environments where we are more deeply attached to technologies and our anxieties than our own conscious self and our personal well-being.

by Carol Ann Norris